So you have been diagnosed with herpes or HPV or worse both! Now what do you do or say to those you love or wish to be in love with in the future? How do you create the others around you to feel comfortable with you? These are what has worked for me and are not the say all or do all in dealing but are very effective!

Just remember you are still you, not your virus! You could have diabetes, cancer, etc so herpes is not that bad when you really look at it. You might say at least with those diseases you can't give it to someone but would you really trade your virus for one of those? Herpes are annoying pimples or sores for some. I would rather have a pimple than sticking myself with needles for diabetes and worrying about sugar levels, etc! Or how about chemo treatments for cancer?

If people freak, it is because you are freaked and they are mirroring your fear. I find talking to them about how easy it is for them to get herpes or worse is very powerful. I talk from the facts and the facts do not lie! 90% of the population has the ability to give genital herpes from the common cold sore on their lips so that is a lot of potential genital herpes sufferers! Many don't even realize that cold sores, fever blisters are herpes and can be transfer to someone's or their own genitals by physical contact with an open cold sore.

Having herpes is only bad if you are afraid of it and relay that to others. Everyone in my life knows about mine now and there is such a peace of mind I can't tell you. A guy hits on me in a bar and asks what do you do for a living? I get to say I own a herpes/HPV Internet dating site, so I am lucky since it is my career. Breaks the ice right off. I will tell you that I only get a few weird looks but most want information since they have it or know someone. Many have it but don't admit it so instead they say:" I have a friend who could use this and/or do you have any information I can tell/give them." :)

Be powerful and smile when you say: "I have herpes and do you know that you might have been exposed to herpes in your life and don't know it? Do you know that cold sores are herpes? Do you know that 90% of the population has the herpes cold sore virus? Do you know when you get tested for STDs that they do not test for herpes, HPV or HIV unless you ask for the separate tests?" That always blows them away since many thought they were tested for everything!

When you talk from their world things shift since now the viruses are more real to them. After all they could have them and might not know! Many carry the type 1 virus and have no idea. Some have type 2 but never had a genital outbreak or thought it was something else and ignored it. Bikini bumps thought they were from shaving but they stay for a few weeks...Hmmm?

Herpes and HPV are more common than the cold so be strong and start the conversation. Do it at your own pace but learn to open your mouth and mind to speak. So many need to know and would love you regardless. Everyone around you might have it but they are being silent because you are being silent. Is silence really golden? Practice in your mirror and say to yourself out loud:" I have herpes so what. I am still me and I love myself!"

Others will love you too since we all do mirror each other. So walk with your head up with a smile on your face and know that we are many and all around you. Break the Silence and Stand Tall. We are not alone!

Cyber Hugs!